Parenting teens: how to cope with your teen’s addiction to pornography
Rakhi Sharma and Awadhesh Kishore*
Institute for Development of Technology for Rural Advancement, Mathura-281004 INDIA
*Sarvoday Mahavidyalaya, Chaumuhan-581406, Mathura INDIA
Summary:
Based on these definitions, porn qualifies as a true addiction; a porn addict produces three important characteristics as a physical or psychological need for sexually explicit material. Some of the porn addict are consuming porn and resulting to face many troubles in the form of over dues on credit cards. They are losing sleep and neglecting responsibilities or loved ones. One who is to look at porn rather than other things that are not porn and at porn while at work, use a great deal of porn, call in sick to work so one can look at porn, apply for and take a job where one can look at porn is a requirement, hide and feel the need to hide porn habits from the friends and family, find reading porn at a funeral, read porn at the funeral of a man whom killed for his porn and pay for internet porn.
Key words:
Addiction, Parenting, Pornography addiction, Pornography, Teen.
Introduction:
Pornography addiction is a highly disputed topic. Addiction means a physical or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, such as a drug or alcohol. In physical addiction, the body acclimatized to the substance(s) being used and gradually requires increased amounts to reproduce the effects originally produced by smaller doses.
Goodman, (1990) had explained his criteria for general addiction as a “process whereby a behavior, that can function both to produce pleasure and to provide escape from internal discomfort, is employed in a pattern characterized by failure to control the behavior (powerlessness) and continuation of the behavior despite significant negative consequences (unmanageability).”
The word pornography means sexually explicit pictures, writing, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal. Pornography addiction can be defined as a dependence upon pornography characterized by compulsive viewing, reading, and thinking about pornography and sexual topics to the damage of other areas of life. Pornography addiction is diagnosed when an individual engages in the overuse or abuse of pornography to the extent that they experience negative consequences (Wikipedia, 2012).
Based on these definitions, porn qualifies as a true addiction; a porn addict produces three important characteristics as a physical or psychological need for sexually explicit material. Desensitization to material that would have seemed extreme or offensive when they first began viewing pornography is observed. Finally, they need for more and more as they continue to get the same effect that they had when they first started.
Pornography as addictive:
Whether pornography is Addictive or not? A critical debate is ongoing on this subject. The effects of porn are being called to be “poisonous” on the brain and are more hazards compared to addiction of drugs. Prolonged exposure to pornography is a serious reason that is resulting stimulation of preference for delineation of group sex, sadomasochistic practices, and sexual contact with animals. Sex therapists are agreed that addicts are increasing day by day by using Internet because online pornography is far away just a click. Some of the porn addict are consuming porn and resulting to face many troubles in the form of over dues on credit cards. They are losing sleep and neglecting responsibilities or loved ones.
Why it is categorized as Addiction:
One behaves just like any other addicts. The criteria used to diagnose problems like pathological gambling and substance abuse can be applied to problematic porn use. Many people may be diagnosed themselves as porn addicts after reading (consuming) popular books on the subject. Like most of the drug addicts, a porn addict also says here is the stuff I would never look at, it’s so disgusting; I would never look at it, whatever that is. An addiction is the development of a tolerance to the addictive substance. In the way that drug addicts need increasingly larger doses to get high, similarly, porn addicts need to see more and more extreme material to feel the same level of excitement they first experienced.
Symptoms of Pornographic addiction:
A porn addict can be identified observing the change in his behaviour. These are Ten Steps for being Porn Addict and the milestones to analyzing whether one is being porn addict:
One who is to use a great deal of porn?
One who is to look at porn rather than other things that is not porn?
One who is to call in sick to work so one can look at porn?
One who is to look at porn while at work?
One who is to apply for and take a job where one can look at porn is a requirement?
One who is to hide porn habits from the friends and family?
One who is to feel the need to hide porn habit from friends and family?
One who is to find reading porn at a funeral?
One who is to read porn at the funeral of a man whom killed for his porn?
One who is to pay for internet porn?
Why it is more hazardous than drug addiction:
Porn addiction merely describes certain people’s behavior as being addiction-like, but they cannot be treated as addicts. Thus it is more hazardous compared to drug addiction.
At present mental health professionals have no standard criteria to diagnose porn addiction, so it is more hazardous in comparison to drug addiction.
Reasons of Pornography Addiction:
Four core beliefs are outlined common in most sexual addicts (Patrick, 2001). They usually result from growing up in a dysfunctional family, especially one with rigid rules, little warmth and affirmation, abandonment, and sexual or emotional abuse. The core beliefs include: I am basically a bad, unworthy person, no one would love me as I am, my needs are never going to be met if I have to depend upon others and sex is my most important need.
The root of sexual addiction generally begins during childhood. When a child’s exploration of sexuality goes away from discovery to routine self-comforting which may because of the lack of human care, there is potential for addiction. Sex becomes puzzled with comforting and nurturing. It can involve promiscuity, affairs, visiting massage parlors or prostitutes, and even viewing child pornography.
Cope of teen’s addiction to pornography:
Teen is the age where a child is in the process of selection of the ways or to define is personality. In this process sometimes they are caught by the evils. A proper schedule of management of their care and counseling is vitally required avoid them from becoming a victim of evils. A teen can be escaped from being victimized from addiction to pornography following a proper management schedule. victim
Management of feeds:
Trying not to think about something can never really work. Eventually, A pornography addict gets to a point where thoughts would get so intense that he couldn’t handle the pressure any longer. In other words, he finds that the more he fed his porn addiction, the stronger it got.
Thirst Management:
No thirst can last forever. Any human feeling, including thirsts, cannot last forever. Human beings cannot sustain any emotion or feelings indefinitely, and eventually any feeling or thirst will decrease.
Management of Physiological Signs of a Strong thirst:
A pornography addict can reflect slow, deep, controlled breaths, and through that he can have a direct effect on his subconscious mind. This is a very powerful key to managing porn addiction.
Management of motives:
Motivate pornography addict to review his personal motivation statements, to remind himself of all the positive things that he can manage to bring into his life if he was not to act out.
Single management is not enough:
Any type of single way of managing addiction to pornography is enough. Multi-dimensional approaches of management viz. psychological, sociological, physiological, moral, aesthetic, spiritual, professional, intellectual, medical approaches are needful in managing a pornography addict. A pornography addict should be committed to the following rules. He needs to manage 8 hours of sleep, healthy feeding (3 meals, and 2 snacks a day), drink plenty of water (minimum 8 glasses), journaling about his triggers, meditating, morning and evening prayer, avoiding dangerous situations (think acronym halt), hungry, angry, lonely and tired.
Counseling for better management:
Psychological approaches to manage a pornography addict are one of the most critical and crucial ways. Systematic counseling is effective to manage a pornography addict.
Environmental management:
This is a phenomenon of human beings that they are directly and effectively affect with that what is ongoing in their surrounding environment, A better parenting requires to manage such types of environment to cope his teen from pornography addiction.
References:
Goodman, A. 1990. Addiction: Definition And Implications. British Journal of Addiction, 85 (11): 1403-1408.
Wikipedia, 2012. Pornography addiction. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornography_addiction.
Patrick, C. 2001. Out of the shadows: understanding sexual addiction, Hazelden: Center City, Minnesota. p. 167-68.
Also see http://expertscolumn.com/content/parenting-teens-how-cope-your-teens-addiction-pornography